I'm back. (You're still here.)

Anything I write today is going to sound canned. I have taken the summer off from You. You've stayed right here, I know. Here are things I've done:

Registered at a consignment sale as a "new mom" so I could get into the pre-sale. 

Gossiped.

Worried about my future, my "legacy."

Felt jealous, competitive.

Saw the young-looking women on the book jacket covers of the novels I've read, and felt frustrated, like life is passing me by.

Felt like I'm not living up to my potential.

That last one may be...true? Partly true? Only true if I stay away from You from here on out, but not true if I return to You?

I've been worried about the "life passing me by" thing a lot this week. Next week, I'll start a new bible study at church, reading the book "Becoming a Woman of Influence," by Carol Kent. In the first chapter, she writes about how Jesus interacts with Matthew, the tax collector. "Jesus saw who Matthew could become - one of His biographers! He saw weaknesses that could be turned into strengths. He envisioned a transformed lifestyle. A new passion. A tenacious loyalty." 

Today I pray that you will turn me back in Your direction, and that You will give me peace. I am greedy, always asking for something, and today it's peace I want. But I also truly do want to follow You with a tenacious loyalty.

"Consider the lilies of the field. They sow not, neither do they spin. Yet Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these. If God so clothes the grass of the field, shall he not much more clothe you?"

I'm back.