Almost Christmas

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. (Philippine 4:5-6)

Lord Jesus, I bring my anxiousness to You, the Holy one who loves me with more love than I can imagine. My mind is swimming with my to-do list, my children are barging in, being loud.

I pray for all that's before me...

lunch with Terri Mom and Dad--I pray for peace and good will! I pray that they will see light in us. I pray that Your light will shine though me. 

I pray that Lee will show this love as well, You shining through him.

I pray for the party tonight at Tim and Abigail's house. I pray...

In Your son's name I pray

Amen

Filled

From my bible study today...

We are sealed by the Holy Spirit. But we are also filled with the Holy Spirit, which depends on our yieldedness to God's will. The filling of the Holy Spirit is connected to joy, courage, spirituality and character.

This is the blessing that results from yielding to God's will. It's not just..."Oh, just do it." It's "Yield, and you'll receive joy and courage and a sense of spirituality and good character."

Lord, show me how.

I pray for my manuscript in Katherine's in-box, and for my own heart, that I will yield it to Your will.

I pray for Isabel and Lily, for protection, for spiritual growth, for health, for them to find their gifts and use them to Your glory.

I pray for Lee, that You would show him the way forward at church. I pray for the new worship director, that You would prepare her/him in advance for a healthy and fruitful relationship with Lee.

I pray for Dad, who is manic these days. I pray for the relationship between Lee and Dad, that it will soften.

I pray for a peaceful Christmas, full of love.

In Your son's name I pray.

Amen

Trust and obey...and keep waiting

At the cross Jesus said, "Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."


I am growing anxious about my pending career change. My manuscript is with Katherine, and still no word. She doesn't appear to be taking this as seriously as I am. Or maybe she's just busy. Or maybe she read it and didn't think much of it and feels uncomfortable about telling me. All these thoughts have run through my head.

I pull away from them. I remember Jesus saying, Not what I will, but what You will. 

Not what I will, Lord, but what You will. I pray that You would show me if I need to be looking into other work, if I'm coasting, not pulling my weight. Show me, Lord. You know what I want, but I need to figure out what You want.

I pray for my manuscript in Katherine's in box, that she would find time to read it. I pray that You will move me forward in this process. But most of all I pray that You would give me the peace to wait on You.

You want me to trust You. I trust You Lord. I am trying to learn how to trust You.


I pray for Dad, who is spluttering spiritually. He is Yours. I pray for him, for Your plan for him. I love him. Show me how to love him better.

At the cross Jesus said, "Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

Jesus asked for what he wanted first, and then said, in effect, but I accept what You want.

I pray that You would grant me the grace to write a novel that glorifies You, that the novel would get published and read, and that I could make enough money from it that I wouldn't have to go back to writing TV-related stories for websites. Yet I accept what You want, and what You would have me do. For Jesus this answer was clear; they were coming for him. You would either rescue him, or You wouldn't. For me, it's not so clear. But it will be more clear eventually.

Lord, I pray protection over Isabel and Lily today. I pray for their sense of empathy and love for others, that it would grow and grow and grow.

In Your son's name I pray,

Amen

Equip me

God comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (2 Cor. 1)

From the Verse of the Day prayer: "So please help me be more faithful to you as I seek to honor my commitments and pledges to you. I know this is important to you not only because I need to learn obedience, but I also need to develop a character more consistent with your own."

I think that last sentence is the clincher for me. I want to develop a character more consistent with God's. That is my end game here. When I doubt, when I wonder what is meant by "God comforts us," I must remember that I'm not just striving to believe in something for no good reason. I'm working towards developing my faith, because I want to be more patient, kind, understanding, self-controlled, and generous.

The sort of person who believes in God is this sort of kind, thoughtful, loving person. This is what belief leads to. Doubt only sends me sliding off to the side, mired in my own selfishness.

Lord, every day I wait for word from Katherine, but I remind myself that really what I wait for is a word from You. I wait patiently for the Lord. 

I pray for protection over my sweet children, and my husband. I pray that I will exhibit those qualities above when I'm at Lily's class party today. 

I pray for Dad, who seems to wander farther from You by the day. Lord, he is Yours. If I'm supposed to be more proactive about talking to him about this, please show me when, and give me the words. One day, something will happen, and he'll need spiritual comfort. Equip me, Lord.

In Your son's name I pray.

Amen

Good luck Lily!

So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on. (Hebrews 10:22, The Message)

Thank you for my precious children. How I love them! I helped Lily with her speech this morning before school. Lord, I pray for her that she will have a good experience, that she'll learn she is Your child and can do anything she sets her mind to.

I pray for my manuscript. Why have I not heard back, Lord? I pray that I will continue to wait on You patiently.

I pray for my time with Mom and Dad today, that I would remember to be loving and encouraging, and not forget about You. I owe them so much. Help me to honor them.

I pray for safe travels for Lee and Tom as they travel to South Carolina, and I pray for our finances, that Lee would keep a level head and spend wisely. 

I pray for Lee's health, and for the new worship leader that's coming in, whoever he/she is, that this person will respect Lee, and that Lee will feel needed, but unburdened.

I pray for Isabel's fitness and for Lily's finding her own niche. They are so special. I pray for them to grow to know You and to want to know You.

I pray all these things in Your son's name.

Amen

Be holy, because I am holy.

Be holy, because I am holy. (Leviticus 11:44)

We're in Leviticus now in BSF. A drab list of rules. But Lord, I want to hold on to the line above. Be holy, because I am holy. How can I be holy in my day ahead?

Isabel's class Christmas party, carpet guys installing, Isabel's chorus concert at Hightower. 

I pray for Lily as she prepares her first speech (on Christmas traditions). I pray that she won't be nervous tomorrow when she gives it, and that she'll slow down, and make eye contact, and most of all that she'll enjoy it. I pray for Lily, for protection over her, for self-control, for focus. And I pray that her delightful spirit will brighten the world. She has brightened mine.

I pray for Isabel as we try to decide what to do about swimming. Looks like we're going to let her quit. Lord, I pray for a way forward to keep her mind and body healthy and active. 

I thank You for Hubie's gracious response to my email  yesterday.

I pray for my manuscript, sitting in Katherine's in box. I pray that she would find time to read it, and I pray that I would continue to focus on You as I wait to hear from her.

Please remind me to "be holy because I am holy."

In Your son's name I pray.

Amen

Psalm 25:3-5

Psalm 25:3-5

3Indeed, none of those who wait for You will be ashamed; 
Those who deal treacherously without cause will be ashamed. 4Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. 5Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation.


Lord, You are holy. I feel low, because I'm not holy. Yesterday I told Hubie that Isabel's Sunday school teacher wasn't cutting it. He looked at me with distaste. I wasn't being holy.

Lord, I am sorry. Please forgive me. Show me what I might do to make amends. Email Hubie? I do think her teacher is boring, and I'd like to spare her from his boringness. But my approach was all wrong. Hubie pointed out that Isabel has to go to Sunday school whether she likes it or not, and he's right. 

I will send Hubie an email? Even as I type that, there's a push-back rising up in my chest. But she deserves better! I want my way. 

You say, Be holy, because I am holy.

This is a matter of trusting You. I should be telling You about Isabel and her Sunday school class, not trying to meddle in her affairs at church. Lord, I want to hand this over to You. Indeed none of those who wait for You will be ashamed.

Lord, You are holy, and I long to be holy too. My manuscript is with Katherine, and I can't help but think about it. Please keep my focus on You. What is Your plan for me going forward? Katherine's response will come when it comes, and it will be in Your timing. You know that I pray for an open door and a clear way forward. Keep me in mind that You are involved in everything.

I pray for Lee's health. I pray for Isabel and Lily, for protection over them. I pray for their character, and their love.

I pray for Mom and Dad.

In Your son's name I pray.
Amen

Setting myself apart

"I am the LORD your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy." (Leviticus 11:44)

This is a verse from my BSF homework today. It's about setting yourself apart in terms of the way you conduct yourself. I can be rotten, and I have a hard time remembering to do this. But it can be a wonderful guide.

Tonight at Tom's concert, I pray for Your spirit to fill the place. I pray for Dad to feel Your peace. I pray for opportunities to put your ways into practice, and then to actually do it!

Thank you for a good shopping trip yesterday, and the resources to buy the children gifts. For a safe drive there and back, and for Isabel and Lily coming safely home to me after their adventures.

I pray for my manuscript, that Katherine would have time to dedicate to reading it. I pray that you would show both of us the way forward. I've told so many people about it now, I have many people praying for me. I pray that I'm in Your will! 

I pray for Linda, who drove me to the BSF party last night. She has so many troubles. Financial problems. Son has severe ADHD. Mother in need of help for aftermath of congestive heart failure. You know all this. I pray that she will have the strength and wherewithal to keep focused on You with each step she takes.

I pray for protection around my girls. Carry them safely through! 

I pray for Lee's work situation, for his health, for all to go well for him at tonight's concert.

In Your son's name I pray.

Just finished Harry Potter, book 7

"Tell me one last thing," said Harry. "Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?"

Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure.

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"


Lily and I finished the Harry Potter series last night. I read the last lines through tears. Thank you, Father, for my Lilybug, and thank you for Harry Potter.


Lord, You are abounding in love, slow to anger, compassionate and gracious. You love me even when I doubt Your existence. Oh, how I want to believe You exist. Help me in my unbelief.

Today I'll be doing some driving. Please send an angel to protect my car as I go. I pray for help as a steward of Your gifts to my children. 

I pray for the concert on Friday, that Your spirit will fill the place, that Dad will sense You. I pray that You would draw him to You. Never let go of him! I pray for Sara as well.

I pray for my manuscript, in Katherine's in-box. I pray for peace about the way forward. Please clear Katherine's plate for the time she needs to read it and judge it fairly. Please show her the way forward, too. I pray for the opportunity to write a book that revolves around You.

Lord, whenever I pray about something out loud on Bible Study morning, the thing I prayed about rears its head. I prayed about Faith, and she was worse than ever. I prayed about Joey, and he was worse than ever. I prayed for help introducing a new song, and I flubbed it. I don't know what this means...I'm just mentioning it.
I don't want to start thinking twice before praying--that would be superstitious. You tell us to pray. I'm going to continue.

Pray without ceasing. I pray for protection over Isabel and Lily and Lee today. Go with them, please, Lord.

I pray for all these things in Your son's name.

Amen

Here is a prayer I stole from my Verse of the Day email:

Help me hear Jesus' voice through your Word. Help me hear his voice through the wise counsel of spiritual friends. Help me hear his voice through the words sung to be by my brothers and sisters when we are assembled. Help me hear his voice in the Holy Spirit's work on my conscience. Father, I want to follow your Son as my Shepherd and Lord because I know he, like you, is good!

Sara is weighing on me for some reason. I pray that I will be a better sister to her. 
I pray for Sara. Please bless her and bring her to Yourself.

The first four chapters of my novel are with Katherine. Lord, I pray for my own prayerful dependence on You. I am in Your thrall, and I depend on You for the way forward. I want to be a novelist, and my motives for that are both well meaning and selfish, as You know. But I want to be refined. I want to see Katherine's response in the light of You and Your plan for me. 

I pray for Dad, and for the concert with Tom Conlan this Friday, that all will go smoothly. I pray for peace between Dad and Lee. I pray for Your spirit to fill Mom and Dad's house while Tom sings.

I pray for Isabel's health and fitness, that we would find a way forward as her friend quits swimming.

Thank you for the beneficial conditions at BSF yesterday and allowing me to shine during story time. Of course this was about serving the children, but it was also a confidence boost for me, which I needed obviously.

I pray that you would help me through my doubts.

In Your son's name I pray,

Amen

Harry Potter

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." (James 1)


Last night I was reading Harry Potter to Lily, and I got to the page when Harry makes a spiritual decision...


"Harry kept quiet. He did not want to express the doubts and uncertainties about Dumbledore that had riddled him for months now. He had made his choice while he dug Dobby's grave, he had decided to continue along the winding, dangerous path indicated for him by Albus Dumbledore, to accept that he had not been told everything that he wanted to know, but simply to trust. He had no desire to doubt again; he did not want to hear anything that would deflect him from his purpose. Harry thought that Aberforth knew what he was thinking and despised him for it."

Here is the crux of it for me:
He had no desire to doubt again; he did not want to hear anything that would deflect him from his purpose. 

What is my purpose? I said in my post yesterday...

"But spiritual strength is so admirable. It's at the top of my bucket list! To love no matter what, even when others around me aren't strong. To be the strong one, myself."

The means of doing this, the only means I know, is to believe in God. And to do the next right thing, according to Him, which is always some variation on putting others first. It is a state of mind in which I consider myself a channel, a conduit, for Him.

This is much harder when I doubt. The one who doubts is unstable, like a wave tossed on the sea. What is my purpose? To love no matter what, even when others around me aren't so lovable. How do I achieve it? Believe He exists, and act accordingly.

Ephesians 3:14-21

From Ephesians 3: 14-21

I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. Kizer. Graham. Hanau. Brown. Weigel. Cochran. Briody. All from Him.

All His children: Sara and Andy, Joey from BSF, Dad. These are people He loves. 

I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen me with power through His Spirit in my inner being.

So that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith.

And I pray that I may have power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.

And to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 

So that I will see with His eyes, and love the people around me.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory.

What I've learned as a BSF children's leader this year
(A meditation on Ephesians 3:14-21)

I've learned that I must kneel before the Father, in order to serve the people He loves. I've learned to pray that He would strengthen me with power through His Spirit in my inner being. I pray for the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. I must, I need, I yearn to know this love that surpasses knowledge. I pray that I may be filled to the measure of it, the measure of all the fullness of God.

So that I will see with His eyes, and love the people around me.

On Tuesdays, my heart wants to kneel down and engage with the sweet little girls, who beam up at me during story time. They are four, most of them. Baby teeth. Dimples. Adorable little curls. I want to play princesses with them, let them tell me the names of each one. Which is Aurora? Which is Ariel? They take command, speak knowledgeably. "No, this prince goes with Snow White. This one goes with Cinderella."

But I don't linger with the sweet little ones. I drift over to the angry little boy, all of 5, who hits and pulls pony tails and disrespects everyone around him, including me. Especially me. The boy who makes "poor choices." I'd rather not sit with him. There will be conflicts when others try to join in. (He doesn't like to share.) But I do anyway.

This is why I must kneel before the Father, and ask Him to give me the power to see with His eyes. He loves the angry little boy, who isn't fun to be around. This is a love that surpasses knowledge. I pray that I may be filled to the measure of it, the measure of all the fullness of God.

My Father is refining me. He is softening my edges, which is arduous work. I'm still very sharp. We sing "Trust and Obey," and the little girls nearly burst with enthusiasm. They're keen to get the hand motions just right. The angry little boy flails his arms in the air, purposely getting it wrong. Defiant. 

My Father hears us singing. "Early in the morning, our song shall rise to thee." He's given me this advice, to trust and obey. What will happen, when I kneel before Him, and pray that I will be filled with His love, which surpasses knowledge? I pray as I sing. Help me be the gentle, loving person You made me to be.

It's not easy to trust and obey. You must believe in the supernatural. I love the idea of the supernatural. But tangible would be much easier. Something I can see, or grasp. Love this little boy, and you get a big slice of chocolate cake! This isn't how the supernatural works. It's more subtle, obviously.

But spiritual strength is so admirable. It's at the top of my bucket list! To love no matter what, even when others around me aren't strong. To be the strong one, myself. 

Lord Jesus, I pray and pray and pray for this love that surpasses knowledge. I pray that I may be filled to the measure of it, the measure of all the fullness of God.

Prayers for 1/6/14

Today's bible reading was Proverbs 6:20-23

My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

6:21

Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck.

6:22

When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.

6:23

For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life

Tim's message at yesterday's service was that we ought to keep in mind God's purpose, his glory, as we go about tinkering with our lives. 

Bind God's glory upon thine heart, and tie it about thine neck.

How to put this into practice? Lord, I pray that you will show me.

I pray that I will figure out how to walk with you. And listen.

I pray for Lee today as he faces a boss he's convinced doesn't like him.

I pray for myself, that I would figure out what it is you have for me to do next!!!!

I pray for the women of my BSF group, that each of their requests would be lifted up before you.

I pray for Sara and Andy.

I pray for my children.

Amen