Live well, live wisely.

I'm making my way through James.


Live well, live wisely, live humbly.


What does that look like? I look at what's in front of me. 


There is Lee. I am his helper. What does he need? I think I need to ask.


There are my girls. My preciouses. I would like to steer them more towards God.


There is Sara. Oh, the weight of this, her disappointment in me. My resentment towards her, for blaming me for sins of omission. For not doing something. For wronging her without knowing it. It's the outgrowth of not living purposefully. I just drift, I get things done that are right in front of me. It takes a thoughtful effort, an outward view, to think about my sister who's 3,000 miles away. 


What can I do for her? Live well, live wisely, live humbly. I will book these plane tickets and not look back.


There is my writing. Oh, Lord, this THIS is what's really bothering me! I'm good at this. But I need direction. My essay about getting stuck in Shelby's driveway...Jane Nussbaum really enjoyed it, but it didn't make it up the editing chain at Parents. Debbie Skolnik said it wasn't right for Parenting, but that "your writing is lovely as ever."


Lord, what do I do with this lovely writing? From James, the version in The Message: "Mean-spirited ambition isn't wisdom." My ambition isn't mean-spirited, but it is about making a name for myself. It's not directed at, focused on, centered around You. "Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life."


A book proposal? Am I spitting into the wind? Today I was thinking, maybe a book proposal. If so, then I could use my "lovely as ever" writing in a way that allows me to "follow my bliss" for You. They are NOT mutually exclusive concepts. You've given me talents and joys for a reason.


Help. How do I do this?


I pray for my time tomorrow at Roswell North Elementary School. I will be tutoring first graders in an after-school program. It's not much, but it's a start. My words are such rubbish. You know what I mean. Help.