Love is patient.

For this month's session of NGM, the marriage exercises are in four parts. The first part quotes 1 Corinthians 13:38, and then asks the following questions:

What evidences of God's handiwork can you see in your spouse when you take the time to look for them?


Lee is very nurturing, which is no doubt God's handiwork. He has a natural ease and wit around me and our children (and our dog!) that only we get to see. Having a dog around again, after all these years, reminds me of what Lee is like when he's given the opportunity to lavish his love on someone without emotional risk. He becomes patient, gentle.

Lee is so sensitive. His feelings get hurt very easily, and that stiffens him up. I hurt his feelings so carelessly--most of the time I have no idea I've done it--and then he retreats away from me emotionally.

His dog never hurts his feelings or criticizes him. His dog loves him unconditionally, and Lee loves the dog unconditionally in return. He adores the dog, and that love for the dog pours out of him effortlessly.

The evidence of God's handiwork that I see in my spouse is this effortless ability, and this longing, to adore someone. At his best, this is what Lee is so very good at. Unfortunately, our broken world frustrates that inner longing at every turn. I am one of the few people who's privileged to see glimpses of Lee at times when his casual, witty love just pours out of him. In other words, around the dog, around the children, and sometimes around me. It doesn't happen often. It used to, for a time.

What are personal qualities of your spouse and contributions your spouse makes to your life for which you thank God?


I thank God that Lee is easy to be around. He fits me like a glove, personality-wise. I know that this is rare, because I was single for a long time before I met him. He loves politics, like I do, and he likes TV, like I do, too. He is all about our children, which is obviously a big interest of mine (in my case, it's almost to a fault). He provides for our family; I barely work at all in comparison to him. This is a stroke of luck that I sometimes take for granted. He gets along well with my mom, and I adore my mom. He is a Christian man who reads the same Christian sorts of books that I like to read. How hard it would be to be married to someone who wasn't open to God!

In fact, God is working in his life, and in mine, and that's exciting.

Lord, You put Lee and me together. Other things (satan? spiritual forces? the evil already inside us?) seep into the cracks between us. But You are the central focus of everything. If we can keep our eyes on You, this should be easier! Please help me to keep my eyes on You.


What should I do about the money saving situation? One month into our savings--we just got the cards in the mail yesterday--and Lee already wants to blow $1000 of it by helping out Tom Conlon. Lee knew that I'd resist, and when I did he became very angry.


It's hard on Lee when I resist. It's hard on our marriage. But hiring Bobby C hasn't solved the problem, because Lee isn't listening to Bobby C. I want to open my own savings account, but I'm afraid to broach the topic with Lee. Lord, please guide me on this. I won't say anything until I hear from You.


I pray for Sara, so many things. She is Yours. You are more concerned for her than I am. I don't know what You're doing with her, and I certainly don't know what my role is in it, but I continue to pray for her.


I pray that You will settle my anxious heart.


In Your son's name I pray.
Amen