Finances, Again.

Once again, I am at a loss in terms of finances. Lee and I went to see a great financial expert, Bobby Cremins, who we've hired to be our family's "CFO." He'll help with budgeting, paying down debt, saving, etc. But before we start, Lee wants a Mac Book and an Ipad. He asked Bobby Cremins if he could spend $1200. I thought for sure Bobby would tell him he should strongly consider whether or not he needs the computer, since we have a lot of bills to pay. But Bobby wrote back that if he needs the computer, he might as well go ahead and buy it now so he can take a tax deduction.

Mom and Dad said they would buy us an Ipad. Very generous! But Lee still wants the computer. He wants both the computer AND the Ipad. They are two different beasts, he said. They do two different things. Fine, but do we really need both? I feel like Lee wants these expensive things, and he convinces himself that he NEEDS them. And I hate that it's somehow my job to point this out. I don't want that to be my job. I was hoping Bobby Cremins would help in that area. But that was naive of me. Bobby can't get inside Lee's head and guide him about "wants versus needs." For that matter, he can't get inside my head either. Maybe it IS necessary to get both an Mac Book and an Ipad. What do I know?

Lord, I think I'm right. Of course I think I'm right. I'm the saver, the hoarder. I want protection, security. I can't see beyond my own view of this situation, which is that we should take care of our outstanding bills before we spend more. I cannot get around this. 


I want to be Lee's helper. You've commissioned me to be Lee's helper. How do I help? What is my next move here? What do I do if Lee digs in his heels? What if he resents me for being "manipulative," as he called it? How do I move forward? One side of me says, "Put your foot down." Another side says, "Be his helper." Of course the stronger voice is the "foot down" one! But is that the right voice?


Lord, I'm talking, talking, talking, and not listening. Please help me to quiet down and listen for Your wisdom.


I pray that You will show me an opportunity to write a book that glorifies You by September 2011, and I pray that Sara will have an experience with Jesus by February 5. In your son's name I pray. Amen