Dad, Mom and Sara are here, have been for a week now. The time has flown by. Isabel and Lily are so happy, taking in all the Christmas stimuli. Mom took Isabel and Sara to the Nutcracker yesterday, and Mom described Isabel as "enchanted."
I am enchanted by my children. Words can't capture it. And grateful for Mom, who is a whirling dervish of efficiency and activity. She's organized everything, and cleaned the house, and planned and cooked meals, and nurtured my children, and took my outlet shopping, and will even hem the pants she bought me. She is a blessing.
Dad went around the house, fixing things. My desk, various overhead lights, my necklace. He handled AT&T when the cable went out. All this care is overwhelming. I'm not accustomed to it.
Lord, in the midst of all this blessing I dwell on the negative. Sara's brought a nasty cold into our house, and I worry that my girls will wake up with it on Christmas morning, ruining everything. Lee has been gracious with my family, but distant with me, and I continue to be frustrated by his attitude (all the while knowing that my own attitude fuels his bad one, and that I am not in a position to judge).
1 Peter encourages me to love others deeply, and I'm not feeling it naturally. I pray that You will fill me with Your love. To accept my marriage as it is, while discerning ways to make it better. Show me how to make it better. I just want to pray that You will change Lee, and I know that's not how it works. So show me how it works. Please work in my marriage to make it better, however You see to do it. I lean on You. Resentment doesn't help, but love without accountability makes me feel like a pansy, a doormat. Show me the way, or better yet, Lord, just step in please! Supernatural help!
I pray that Sara will feel better and that she will have an experience with Jesus by February 5. I pray that You will show me an opportunity to write a book that glorifies You by September 2011.
In your son's name I pray, Amen.
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