Lee has had a viscerally negative reaction to Steven Platt's book, Radical. Platt makes the point that 150 years ago, many Christians owned slaves. They were God-fearing in other ways, but this was a major blind spot. Platt fears that 150 years from now, Christians will look back at us and shake their heads at our own blind spot: the fact that we are aware that we're wealthier than 99% of the world, yet we allow the extreme imbalance to persist. Why aren't we cutting back on our pursuit for material possessions and working instead to help people living in abject poverty? Why aren't we caring for the orphans and widows, the sick and the needy? Sending our money, adopting abandoned children?
Lee is frustrated by Platt's guilt trip tactics. He points out that all economic classes--from the rich to the very poor--seek after material possessions. The idea of selling your house and giving most of your possessions to the poor is too simplistic, he says. Platt doesn't deal with the very real repercussions of not having a retirement fund, or of bringing a child with serious emotional problems into your home.
I agree with him, but the book convicted me in a milder way. I wouldn't sell my possessions and drain my retirement account--and God knows that. But I would consider taking a small step by bringing a child into my home. I don't think that adopting a toddler who needs parents is so radical. It satisfies my desire to serve God in a big way, to put my faith in Him with our finances. And it allows Lee to have that third child--which he wanted anyway. However, again this is up to God. Infertile couples wait for years to adopt. I'm not doing any big service to God by putting my name on an adoption list of healthy babies. On the other hand, God alone knows what I am capable of handling. Lee isn't ready to take on an older child, or one with special needs, and if I'm being completely honest, I'm not either.
Lord, the truth is that You alone know what You have for us to do. There may be a child already meant to join our family, and it may be that You have put this desire on my heart for that reason. Or it may be that I'm simply grieving the loss of my childrens' babyhood, and this is how I'm processing it. The decision is Yours, not mine. I'm making myself available, but I know that this has as much (or more) to do with Lee's walk with You as it does with mine.
Speaking of Lee, I pray for him. I pray that he will start sleeping better, that You'll fight off the depression that descends upon him. I pray that You will show me how I am meant to be his helper right now. It's my usual reaction to draw back when he gets depressed.
Last night, he stayed up late buying songs for a Christmas music mix. He gave himself a $40 budget. I'd just been to the Scholastic Warehouse sale, where I painstaking kept my purchases--some Christmas gifts and enough birthday party gifts for several months--to a mere $75. Hearing Lee throw away $40 so easily on something we don't really need (although I'm sure to his mind we needed it) was hard for me. I kept it to myself--I've learned to do that to avoid a fight. Last week, he went and bought golf shoes. He said, "I won't buy them if they're more than $40." Later, I saw the receipt. They were $60, and he spent another $15 on top of that for some other purchase. Again, I didn't say anything. Lord, I pray that things will turn around once we see the financial advisor.
Lord, show me how You would have me react. Am I supposed to hold Lee accountable? Or am I supposed to support him even when I feel he's wasting money? (And who says that what I feel is even right?) Am I being lazy or cowardly by not calling him on it? Lord, my prayer is that the financial advisor will be the one to hold Lee accountable, and that I can go back to just loving and supporting him.
I pray that Sara will have an experience with Jesus by February 5, and I pray that You will show me an opportunity to write a book that glorifies you by September 2011.
Amen
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