In Classic Christianity, the book I'm reading for Next Generation Mentoring, the author urges Christians to "offer yourself to God without reserve." I am charged with "placing myself and my life in His hands to do with as He pleases."
What is God pleased to do with me? I've focused on two areas this month. One is my professional life. I long to write about something of lasting value. No doubt the Lord wants all of his children to grow in spiritual maturity. One way is through reading books, magazines, etc. that help focus the reader on God. This is my field; it's something I could do, even excel at. So I am waiting patiently on the Lord to see what He has in mind. Financial issues are still a roadblock at the moment--not to mention busyness. But I don't have to worry about that. I am placing myself and my life in His hands to do with as He pleases. That means I don't have to scurry around, trying to make something happen. God will make what He wants to happen happen.
Since I began praying that God would show me an opportunity to write a book that glorifies him by 2011, I've received two emails from Christians in the magazine business. One was my old friend, Ansley, who's now the religion editor at beliefnet.com. And the other came yesterday, from a friend of a friend who's now living in Atlanta and is in the early stages of launching a Christian women's magazine. She said she was praying about it, and my name came to mind.
I have no idea how God will answer my prayer to change the course of my writing and to focus it on things above. But I am expecting that whatever it is He has for me, I will recognize it. Right now all I have to do is acknowledge this prayer and wait, expectantly. He knows that I need a steady income, and that my family counts on me to supplement Lee's paycheck. And I know that He might not answer the prayer in a way that I expect. Open-minded, I sit tight.
The second area I've focused on this month is the idea of taking a child into our home. It's something that I've considered off and on for years. I recently read the book, Radical, by David Platt, and it got me thinking about the idea again. In the book, Platt suggests something very damning about modern-day Christians. One hundred and fifty years ago, many self-professed Christians were slave owners. Though they were committed to Christ, they had a blind spot in this area.
Platt suggests that today, we have a blind spot as well. He cites a statistic that if you earn $50K a year or more, you are wealthier than 99% of the world's inhabitants. One hundred and fifty years from now, Platt asks, will Christians look back at us and wonder how Christians could have allowed such a contrast in wealth? We live in comfortable homes, own two cars per family, and spend money on vacations and our children's enrichment. Meanwhile, God's "widows and orphans" are wasting away from poverty and disease, worldwide.
Naturally, Platt hopes that Christians will give more of their money away. But he also discusses other ways to live more "radically" for Christ, and among them he names...taking in a child. Since this is something I was already praying about, my ears pricked up. Over Thanksgiving weekend, I put a lot of thought into the idea, and even mentioned this far-fetched idea to my Uncle Jay. He said, "God will let you know."
So I am turning this over to Christ as well. I know that it would be have to be a supernatural appointment, because it's highly unlikely that this would fall into place. Lee told me that he was open to it, but that he didn't think we could handle an older, foster child who would naturally arrive with emotional problems. He's probably right. But those are really the children who need adopting. Long waiting lists are already full of couples waiting for healthy babies to adopt, both here and around the world. So I'm not sure how that would be serving Christ.
Serving Christ would mean taking in a child that others didn't want--one with special needs or expensive medical ailments. Does this entice me? Not in the least. And this is where Classic Christianity leaves me on the curb. George writes that we are meant to place ourselves and our lives in God's hands to do with as He pleases. What does he please for me to do? Surely it's more than volunteering in my daughter's kindergarten class and buying gifts to put on the school's "Giving Tree." I enjoy being a mother. I'm good at nurturing little ones. Is this an area where He wants more of me?
I don't know. But here's what I do know. God knows my selfishness. He knows my limits and my capacity to serve. Whatever He has in mind, He will move me into the situation He has for me, and He will move my heart to desire what He desires. I don't have to worry about this. I simply have to acknowledge that I've prayed about it, and then be open to what comes my way.
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