help

Lord, I don't know how to deal with Dad's hurt feelings over Lee's disinterest in him. I don't know how to deal with his anger and spite at being spurned. Yesterday I let him rant for 40 minutes, and tried not to let it poison me. It didn't really, not much anyway. You stand by me. You are my constant, always faithful, never poisoning Father.

In Matthew 12:46-50, Jesus points out that spiritual ties are even more important than family ties. Not that family ties aren't of utmost importance--they are--but that total dedication to God comes first. If Dad had that sense from You, this situation would upset him less. Because I do have that sense from You, the situation isn't as soul-crushing as it could be. You love me perfectly, in a way that neither of these men can love me. Both of them hurt me, and I hurt them.

What am I saying? I'm quite sure I've bungled this difficult situation. That I've not conducted myself, my part of this, as Jesus would. I'm weak and torn between the two of them. 

But You can heal this. I pray that Lee would come to love and appreciate Dad for the extraordinary and generous person he is. I pray that Dad could love Lee despite his faults. I pray that I could love them in the way they need to be loved. 

That sounds canned. I don't know what the next step is, what my role will be moving forward. I lay my confusion and hurt feelings and complacency at Your feet. 


I was feeling discouraged as I haven't heard from Katherine about my book proposal, and then that Amazon story in NYTimes poured on more discouragement. But yesterday, my Verse of the Day was:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. — Joshua 1:9

So You are with me. "Do not be discouraged." OK.

In Your son's name I pray.

Amen