This week's BSF focuses on the grand, sweeping horror and joy of Revelation times. It seems utterly distant from my life. It vaguely frightens me. The images are heart-stopping; on the other hand, I can just close the Bible and go back to reality. Could the words of Revelation be reality? It seems unlikely. But other words in the Bible--anything related to Jesus--ring true. How could this book be nestled right in there at the end?
From the BSF homework questions: "How does the defeat of death help you to live fearlessly today and to face the reality that you will someday die?" I'm worrying about kindergarten entrance age and Cyber Monday shopping, and this is asking me about facing the reality that I will someday die? Lord, You are here with me. What are You teaching me right now? I keep thinking about broadening my focus, seeing a bigger picture. I am caught up in the details--housecleaning, Christmas preparations, getting my dang post done. How do I look beyond all this? I get through "one day at a time," and "one hour at a time." I long to have a bigger plan.
I long to have more meaningful work, to write about You. What should my next step be? Am I meant to go on waiting? I'm going to go on waiting. I second-guess myself at every turn.
I pray for Sara that she will have an experience with Jesus by February 5. I am both hopeful and losing hope about this. But maybe that's just because I went so many days without praying. I'm going to disregard my own feelings and continue to ask for this.
Amen
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