Kind Hezekiah, the "good" king of Israel in Isaiah 38, asked to be freed from Assyria's oppression, and then asked to be healed from a terminal illness. God granted both requests. Two things I notice about this:
1. God is working directly with Hezekiah for things to happen right then. It's not about having faith that one day he'd join Him in heaven. It was about having faith that God was working right then and there.
2. When Hezekiah prays, he asks only that God's glory be vindicated. He is indirectly praying for himself (to be rescued from Assyria and from death), but his greater concern is for God to be glorified.
If MY greater concern was for God to be glorified, what would that look like?
I would pray for an opportunity to write a book that glorifies You. But the idea is Your glory, not mine. You've given me certain gifts, and You have a purpose for me. I don't have to worry about making a name for myself. I just need to be conscious of the fact that I have certain gifts, that I CAN use them to glorify You, and that You'll make that happen if You want it to.
Why do I want to write about You? Of course it's to succeed on the level I aspire to succeed--for my own enrichment. But it also may be because You've put it on my heart to write a book about You, and You intend to use it to enlighten others about You. It could be both of those things. It doesn't matter. I can relax and let You drive this car.
Lord, I come before You humbly to pray for my marriage. Lee asked me yesterday if I'd like to spend Memorial Day weekend at the Focus camp in Martha's Vineyard. He didn't bring up cost, of course, though I know that for two of us to fly from Atlanta to Boston, that would cost about $700.
To me, being $16,000 in debt means that you don't take any trips, or make any big purchases, until you've caught up. Already I think we're going to face expenses that will hinder our ability to pay this down. Car repairs, home repairs, medical/dental costs.
This is the same argument we have over and over and over. I want to tell him, "No, let's pay our debt first." But the broken record nature of this argument is getting really exhausting. He'll accuse me of not making "couple time" a priority (which is true, because to Lee, couple time always involves spending $, and to me, being conservative with our finances trumps romance).
Lord, You have made me his helper. He is hyper-sensitive to criticism. The only help he wants is for me to lovingly support his every idea. You've linked us together because I have a gentle spirit, and he needs a gentle wife. This seems clear. But I am also more frugal than he is, and I do believe he needs guidance in this area. Bobby C is wonderful, and I am so grateful for him. But Lee is already beginning to discount Bobby, saying that it's not up to him what we spend our money on.
I pray that You would show me Your will for how to spend our money. I don't want to spend it on plane tickets right now, obviously. But Lee needs a gentle wife, not someone who forbids him from doing what he wants. So, I pray that You would show Lee that this isn't smart--and do it apart from me. You took care of Hezekiah's problem without Hezekiah lifting a finger. All he did was pray to you, asking only that You be glorified.
I feel 100% right about this: Pay down your debt before you do anything else. But of course I have to concede that my feelings are not reliable, and I am not always 100% right. This makes me anxious! My main goal is to be Lee's helper. Lord, would you please do the hard work for me? I can't be loving and gentle if I feel that Lee is not being held accountable. I want to trust You. If I am loving and conciliatory, will You protect us both from Lee's whims? Am I right to see things in this light? Lord, I'm going to wait on an answer from You.
I pray that Sara will have an experience with Jesus by February 5. I pray for protection over my children.
In Your son's name I pray.
Amen
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