"Live life, then, with a due sense of responsibility, not as [women] who do not know the meaning [and purpose] of life but as those who do. Make the best use of your time, despite all the evils of these days. Don't be vague but grasp firmly what you know to be the will of the Lord." (Ephesians 5:15-17)
This verse appeals to me because I long to be proactive, to take charge despite all the things (home and work responsibilities, my own nature) that hold me back. I don't want to be "vague"!
How do I avoid being vague? "Grasp firmly what you know to be the will of the Lord."
I long to write about the Lord, but my motives are questionable, to say the least. Lord, I want to lift You up, to show You to others, to thank YOU, to show my gratitude. BUT I also want to make money. I also want to be an author, to be able to say, "I'm an author."I want You to lead me to do this, even while I am clearly out for myself, too. Tim's sermon yesterday was about John the Baptist, who called attention to himself only in service to You. He wasn't into making money off of You, or becoming famous himself. I am laying myself bare before You, showing You how selfish I am. You already know, of course. I'm saying it because I'm being honest with myself before You.
Lord, if it's Your will to use me...is it Your will to use me? I hand my skills over to You. Place an idea in my head, lead me forward. I'm waiting, and doubting, and waiting. I'm holding on.
In the meantime...
I pray for today. That I may be patient and loving with the children on this snow day, home with me. And loving of Lee, also home. I need to finish my Introvert/Extrovert story for Parents. I need to do my post.
Show me what You need me to do today. What does unselfishness look like today? Keep the children from getting in Lee's way while he works? Fix him/them lunch? Handle whatever comes up with poise and grace.
Lord, soon (September) we'll get a dog. Bring the right dog to us please! Like everything else, it's not easy. I'd like a non-shedding, quiet, low-odor dog that's not astronomically expensive. Miniature Goldendoodle/Labradoodle fits the bill except for the last part! I pray for the right dog for our family. I pray that You will show me Your control over this situation, like every other situation.
Your control over my decision to send Lily to kindergarten or to keep her in a Young 5's program. Please show me Your will in this situation. I don't want to make the decision. I want You to make it--she is Yours, after all!
Your control over Isabel's interests/activities. I'm forcing her to do the school play, considering forcing her to do swim team, too. Lord, show me how to move forward here. What is YOUR will for Isabel?
Your control over my marriage. Working on it, mending it is so important, and yet I don't feel like dealing with it. Lord, I want to rest in You on this. Resting in You makes everything easier. Show me Your will here and then guide me in carrying it out.
I pray that Sara will have an experience with Jesus by February 5, and I pray that You will show me an opportunity to write a book that glorifies You by September 2011.
In Your son's name I pray,
Amen.
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