Dreaming BIG

Each morning as I get up and read the BSF scripture, I'm being reminded of what God wants:

"In that day [God's people] will no longer rely on him who struck them down but will truly rely on the Lord, the Holy One." (Isaiah 10:20)

I can do some things myself. But what I can do is so limited. I want to make a huge impact, dream BIG and see it all come together in some grand fashion that's beyond what I imagined. Yesterday I got an email out of the blue from an old friend, a Christian who's now working as an editor at Beliefnet. I got chills. Among the many religions and faith systems that Beliefnet encompasses, it has Christian writers, writing about Christian topics. Was God setting up the early stages of answering my prayer, to show me an opportunity to write a book that glorifies Him?

Lord, I know nothing about what You have for me to do. I wait patiently for You to show me. I am chomping at the bit, but I am also gun shy because of my past failures. And because everything is always so hard--that's the way of this world. Even if, by my own strength, I could grab onto an opportunity to write about You, I could still fall flat on my face when it's time to write it. I've committed to helping Lee with our income stream, and that's what I'll continue to do. I'm not going to force my well-meaning ideas into existence. I'm going to wait and let You use me like a chess piece. This is the way it's meant to be: Like a chess piece, I move when You move me.


I thought yesterday about what it would be like to get a phone call from Sara telling me that she's started going to church, or even that she had a life-changing experience that's caused her to start relying on God. If You are there, if I am not praying to my computer but to a real person who is listening, then this is possible. I still wrestle with the idea that I'm being presumptuous in asking for this, like a spoiled brat who dares God to prove His existence. I want to stay humble, to bow before Him and plead for Sara, knowing my right place in relation to Him. I want her to know Him. Lord, I pray that Sara will have an experience with Jesus by February 5.


Amen